i just remembered...

08:35am

Kitchen fires
Storm overhead and approaching
The waiting for Helen to call or answer
Waiting for the storm to come



Today i can't concentrate. Can't read/can't listen.
Sleeping used to come so easy.
Some days are harder then ever, i don't know why.
Sleeping/waking/walking/watching.

I just remembered.

I wait for the storm in my sleep. Remembering all the time. Remembering exactly.

♥

WHAT WE ARE LEAVING BEHIND

I won't ever leave the house again

It's worth it sometimes. This is how it should feel. This is forward.

When we say we are not afraid, we lie.

Happy 18th

Happy Birthday
You are young and you are old
And things will never feel like this again
Stop wishing you were someplace else
And stop looking for the life you dreamed you'd have by now
(in retrospect it would never have made you as happy as you imagined)

Keep making the work you want to
(it will pay off in the end)
And don't worry about the next three years
It will totally all be ok.

Things i know

Places we can go to

- Glasgow
- Manchester
- Newcastle
- Brighton
- Edinburgh

Places we can't go to

- Derby
- Leeds
- London
- Liverpool
- Nottingham
- Birmingham

Where to go and never leave

-New York
-San Francisco

Words to stop using

-Cunt
-Job
-Money
-Sex
-Passive Aggressive
-Tea/Tea bag
-Fuck
-Prick/Dick

Old news

It's always been me and you
F O R E V E R

p.s.This song is for you
(click here)

Monday

Waking and walking
Staring and watching
Waiting and running
Remembering and diverting
Knowing and not knowing

Do you think they talk about us like we do them?

Sleeping and Upright
Shut eyes and closing
Green lights and stillness
Forgetting and following
Not knowing and knowing

Sometimes i think they can talk all they want and we'll still move in the same circles
We'll still follow the same map

cellophane rain

Late night fucking eyes averted
Thunderstorm your heart
And cut the circuit
Cut the cord

And count

Two

Three

It's happening again.

You take a photo of a black sky
And you are trying to love the town that moves within its shadows

But it's not for you

This is not for you



Everything is frozen. It's happening again.

It is written.

Work for samaritans charity art auction, sheffield

Suffice to say that sometimes we think you are a total

Listening to the same songs on repeat,
Double black tights/red nail varnish,
Blue knit jumper/same brown boots.

You were tall enough to rest your head on top of mine.
I was strong enough to walk away and not look back.

I am drawing a line.

You
-----
Me

You divided by me equals.